Palindrome gave me this award. It's about being a liar. So, I win!
Six Lies, One Truth to Rule Them All.
1. I broke my right arm twice during my childhood. Once, falling from a swing-set and another time jumping down stairs...again.
2. I vomited on my Principal at graduation. It was just a little bit and it was only on his shoe so it isn't, you know, a huge deal.
3. I, weirdly, have no freckles on my right arm but do on my left.
4. I have a little weird pinky toe that I can't move. Cripple Toe the 5th, he is.
5. I once rocked over on my cat's tail by accident when I was in a rocking chair - thus breaking it.
6. I once got in to a fender bender in front of a cop who had just pulled me over minutes before. Heh, dummeh.
7. I lived in a nouveau commune, briefly - very briefly, when I was 19 and "finding myself".
There it is! Take your best guess and the winner gets the smug satisfaction of knowing they have sussed me out. You haven't got a chance. Suckers.
I pass this on to Mr.Teebore. He's a slippery one.
I guess the truth is is #6. I picked because if it is true…toooooooooo funny:)
ReplyDeleteMy money is going on number 5.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! I knew you were going to be waaaaay better at this than me!
ReplyDeleteI think they're all especially hilarious but I think I'm going to go with lucky number slevin. Yes, slevin!
Oh goodness... I can totally see you doing all of these things. I'm going for #2. Yup
ReplyDeleteVW: barpolas - night hang outs for the Island bears
I vote for number 4 - the cripple pinky toe thing...only because I actually have one and it would make me feel better to know that someone else does too!
ReplyDeleteWell done on making all of these choices seem plausible, nothing too terribly off the wall. Except maybe your freckleless arm. Which is totally why I'm picking it.
ReplyDeleteOh, and ps -- the aforecommented Danielewski story is just a pdf file all sticky-noted up with my casual 'net searching and ill-equipped translations from the Spanish, so I can send it to you too (the Lady Palindrome got one yesterday... or day before, suddenly I can't remember). Solicit via yourblindspot@gmail!
ReplyDeleteAloha my friend! I am Palindrome ???? =)
ReplyDeleteJoan, I think the truth is 6 point!!!
The most original is 1st! hihihi...
Joan, you read my points, in my blog!????
Yes I have already received my copy!! SQUEEE!!!! I am so excited!! I'm planning on reading House of Leaves again one of these days...with the soundtrack!
ReplyDelete@Joshua- Thanks again!!!
hhahahahhahahah! I just don't have words! Not really, it's so interesting story! Today, when I have seen that you published this post, I thinked that you write about me-" Palindrome", because i thinked that you knowed that I give you this award too! Please, look here-:
ReplyDeletehttp://dispatchesfromtheme.blogspot.com/2010/03/blog-award-gift-from-lulu.html
Joan, i am interested, when Palindrom, give you this award????
have a funny weekend!
Hiya. Number 4 because it is not at all funny. I of course can wiggle and twirl all my toes independently of each other, so find no humor whatever in it, therefore, it must be the truth.
ReplyDelete@Jenn - Good guess! Something very close to this actually did happen and I was pulled over twice, by the same cop, in a ten minute time frame. Ha! No tickets for this guy!
ReplyDelete@Frank - Another good guess! I knew someone, I think or maybe it was in a book and they rocked over a cat's neck and killed it :( That is really sad though so I switched it to tail.
@YFNP - Hehe, I could actually see me doing this but no, it was a lie! I did live in a studio apt. with 3 other girls though. That's kinda like a commune. Smelled like a commune.
@Ashlie - You are our FIRST WINNER! Ha, yes, I have a weird little proto-toe that just kinda gets pushed around by the others. It is littler than normal too. We are just farther along in evolution, you and I- we have no need for pinkie toes and thus - we are slowly breeding them out of our genetic lines! That and we just have congenital deformities.
@joshua - HA! Hehehe no, my left arm isn't completely freckleless - but I only have like...let's see...7 where as my right arm has at least 20. That seemed more impressive in my head but in print...not really that weird and/or interesting :D
@Jenea - Good guess! I missed the post where you gave me an award - thanks!
@Melanie - Yay! You are Winner Number Two! I see your logic though I must say - if you saw my little deformed toe twitching valiantly in an effort to move and be like its brethren - you might find it funny. At least I do...my husband laughs at it too. Maybe he is just mean? I should post a video! Haha, no, no I won't weird/gross you all out with that.
I should post a video!
ReplyDeleteyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
@EB - Hehehe! Don't encourage me, I seriously almost made one last night. Yay, you're back - I had wondered why you've been giving me the cold shoulder. As compared to the burning-hot gaze of judgment.
ReplyDeleteYay for messed up toes! Mine isn't due to evolution however - it's due to it being broken when I was a kid, and now it doesn't move. Actually, my friend and I have discussed having our baby toes surgically removed to better be able to wear pointy shoes...apparently plastic surgeons have a problem with amputating things though...
ReplyDeletei was totes gonna guess #4. But seriously, all of your options were tricksy
ReplyDeleteThose all seem believable, coming from you...
ReplyDeleteI'ma say #5
Slippery indeed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joan!
Look for my post posthaste (or, you know, next week...).
Oh, and even though I now know the answer and you have no reason to believe me, I was TOTALLY going to pick the toe thing as the truth.
Oh, also, I love the title of your post. I call my wife Sassafras all the time. I've even turned it into an adjective. As in, "Why you gotta be so sassafrassy?
ReplyDelete@Ahslie - I had a friend who broke her toe during chilhood too, only she broke the "growth plate" and so she had one little tiny 4 year old's toe. It was cute in a creepy way.
ReplyDelete@Anne - I had a lot of fun with these and most all of them do a have a hint of the truth in them.
@Falen - Good guess but I think I would too traumatized from that to ever speak of it in public.
@Teebore - So, you could sense I had a weird little toe, eh? Maybe I give off "Weird Toe" vibes...
Aw, Sassafrassy is the best adjective ever!