Thursday, January 7, 2010

An Unexpected Caller

Tonight I was in the bathroom, messing with my horrific bangs; desperate for them do something - anything - other than swoop. I had out the mousse and the hairdryer and was feeling pretty good about it all until my husband walks in and says:

"You look like Zack from Saved by the Bell."

Oh, now he's Captain Observant, eh?

He was right :(

This picture creeps me out. I don't remember him being so...sinister.

I was going for a cool "I-did-this-on-purpose" gender-bendy Rhianna look. Yeah, apparently, you have to actually plan to look like that ahead of time and not use safety scissors.

Regardless, I still felt pretty good about the whole thing and left it up. I go about my business (forgetting all about the fly catcher atop my head) when there is a ring at the door! I look out to see a neighborhood kid.

Kid: *stares at my head*
Me: (Why is he staring at me?) Yes?
K: ...Can I, uh, borrow some rock salt for our walkway? *continues to stare*
M: Sure thing! (Ya little freak!)

I go back in and tell Jerko what happened and he goes:

"Oh, you should have invited him to meet you at The Maxx later."

"Bwaha! Oh, no! Whatever, the fact that you know the name of the diner makes you as lame as me."

"Not quite, love, not quite."

Do you guys remember when Jessie Spano was on caffeine pills? It was some heavy stuff, man. It really tested the whole crew.

Word.


I can't tell you how many times my husband and I have acted out this scene after I've had my daily 2 pots of coffee.


Whew, shake it off kiddies, it's over and she was OK...until the whole "I'm not a stripper - I'm a DANCER!" thing. Do you know that the 10th anniversary edition of Showgirls came with a set of pasties? Not that I, uh, own it or anything or even know what pasties are. It just something I heard some older kids talking about and I thought it would impress you guys.

Let us now forget our troubles. Here is something to make the ladies swoon and to make the men feel like men:


I love the "breaking sticks over my knee" move the best.

What the Hell was wrong with me? I remember watching this when I was ten and being like "These dudes are awesome! I hope I am Kelly and have a Zack when I am old!"

Catch you dudes at the Maxx!

Guys?

25 comments:

  1. Ha! I follow you now, the Joan Crawford! And I am the 13th one, which is an ooomen, eh! Tell Nana! Tell Nana!

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  2. Hihihi!!! You are so funny like ever!!! I think that your hairs is seems like the hair on Ace Ventura head!!! Awesome story about guy's and girls!!! Yohohoooo! ;)

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  3. "Oh, you should have invited him to meet you at The Maxx later."

    Your husband for the win.

    Sorry.

    I don't remember him being so...sinister.

    Oh, he was totally sinister. Not sinister in a "I'm going to rule the world and enslave the planet-mwha-ha-ha" super villain-y kind of way, but more in a "I'm going to get you to do something you don't want to do and not only that, make you think doing it was your idea in the first place" kind of way.

    Seriously, Zack Morris was like the crown prince of con artists back in the day. It's wonder Screech made it out of high school alive.

    Also, he could manipulate time, and that's pretty bitchin'.

    And the Maxx rules. I once saw Max (Ed Alonzo) do a magic show at the local Six Flags-esque amusement park. It was, at the same time, both the most awesome and most lame thing I'd ever seen, which is something of an accomplishment.

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  4. @Evil Blam - The creepy thing is: Nana warned me about you before I (or you) even knew you existed! "Beware the 13th follower!" she howled as I stuffed her in a cab back to the Old Folks Home! "But I have my own home!" she protested. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll sort it out when you get there, Nana! Love you!"

    @Jenea - Thanks :) I wish I could get the volume out of my hair that Ace Ventura had...

    @Teebore - YES! "I'm going to get you to do something you don't want to do and not only that, make you think doing it was your idea in the first place" kind of way.
    He was a manipulative sociopath, wasn't he?
    I can't believe you got to see Max and doing a magic show. That is something you expect to see when you hit the edge of the Universe. Lucky!

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  5. He was a manipulative sociopath, wasn't he?

    He was. Imagine if he and Ben Linus ever teamed up?

    Run, Screechs of the world, run!

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  6. I'm glad that my husband and I aren't the only ones who recite "I'm so excited! And I just can't - I'm so, Zack, I'm so scared!" Classic. It's funny, just a couple of weeks ago I was getting out of the shower and I could hear hubby in the other room watching TV - I heard this music and instantly I yelled "Is that the murder mystery episode of Saved By The Bell?!" I was equally proud and ashamed of myself for recognizing it by the music alone - but was comforted by the fact that he was watching it.

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  7. Oh, man, I love that murder mystery episode. I'd kill (pun intended) to spend a weekend doing something like that.

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  8. Jesus. You guys need like a Saved By the Bell intervention. Watching those clips fills me with some sort of vomitous shame.
    Though, we often make fun of the caffeine pills episode.

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  9. Falen, Saved by the Bell does not equal shame. It equals awesome.

    Now I'm off to listen to some Hot Sunday songs...

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  10. Oh my god, I am STILL wiping away the tears of laughter -- and honestly, your husband is a master of comic timing.

    Why is it that a "very special episode" that we watched when we were like 14 or whatever is now so utterly PAINFUL to watch. Oh my GOD. That was SO cringeworthy. I love how in the 80s and 90s caffeine pills were depicted like crack. Remember when Alex Keaton had to do some exam and started taking them and he turned into a total buzz-case?

    Damn, I've gotta go get me some caffeine pills. Maybe I've underestimated their power.

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  11. Hi Joan...wonderful to meet you ...and thank you for popping by my blog...I sell all of my paintings....you can find them here...

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/DianaEvans

    Have a wonderful weekend!!

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  12. ::cries piteously:: I remember all of that with altogether too much clarity. Oh!... And pasties?... Really? :p

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  13. Going to have to sit this one out kids - I never watched this show. Now, bring me some Muppets and I'll drive the bandwagon.

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  14. @Ashlie and Teebore - Murder Mystery Episode? Man, I must have missed that one - that sucks! I LOVE murder mystery. Not that I have ever actually gone to one in real life but in my head, I have more than a few times.

    @Falen - Shame is the first step toward acceptance :)

    @Teebore - You sir, are correct.

    @Nikki - My friend actually takes caffeine pills - haha! She is a total nerd about it too. I asked her for one one night and she goes "I dunno, man. They're pretty strong - I think I'll just give you half."
    I stared at her for a moment and then asked her if she had missed the fact that on a normal day I consume 384 times the caffeine she does. She doesn't even drink soda. She was like "Ah! Yes, OK, you can have one."

    @Diana - lovely stuff! And your son is beautiful!

    @Frank - Yes! Pasties! I once read an article on the internet about stuff to do to creep people out in public. One of them was to go a TV store, turn all the sets to "Saved By the Bell" and then stare intently while silently mouthing the dialog. I still really would like to do this.

    @Melanie - Muppets! Do you remember Fraggle Rock?

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  15. Here's a message that I'm sending to you
    You can do what you want to do
    A little work never hurt no one
    It's the only way to get things done.

    Put your mind to it go for it!
    Get down and break a sweat.
    Rock and roll, you ain't seen nothing yet.


    -Palindrome Out

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  16. @Palindrome - HAHAHAHA! Did you memorize all that? Oh man! Hahahaah! The Hot Sundaes!

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  17. I may or may not have the song "Go For It" by the Hot Sundaes memorized...I'll never tell.

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  18. And I would so join in on the Saved by the Bell Walmart trip!

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  19. I want to know who can name all the Fraggles without having to look them up!!!!!

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  20. @Frank - RED! I remember her and... Dozer? Wait what were the little things called? Doozers? And the big monsters outside?

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  21. wasn't the big monster outside just actually the farmers sheep dog?

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  22. @Falen - Yes! A big English Sheepdog, right? But I remember these big stupid mean...JibberJabbers, we'll call them.

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  23. How big are the coincidences, eh! The "posting" has not occurred for several days because I have been curing and dining upon the Fraggles.
    ...
    Verification word: Also upon the English Sheepdogs.

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  24. I forgot that Zack could stop time! Thanks for bringing back some memories....

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