Sinus Infection Birthday

Hi erbody! Sorry for the delay - there has been too much crap going on lately and I have been sick as a dog. Not sick like my dog - because he had worms in his poop but, you know, sick as another dog without worms in his poop.

Princess has worms. Just another reason to love her.

I have had a Horrible Sinus Infection that started at the end of September! That morphed into an ear ache! I don't know what the hell is going on in there but, apparently, your ears are in kahootz with your sinuses and they also have ties to the underworld that is your throat. It is like a mafia, really. A mafia you best stay on the good side on - or else!

Your flesh will actually melt away if you let the infection go long enough.


Or else what? Well, funny you should ask. You're awesome like that; that's why I like you. You see, at first - I thought I had a tooth ache. I bent over to pick up a piece of paper and my teeth on the top right side began to throb. I was shocked and pissed - I had just been to the dentist like 3 weeks ago! That lazy souse. I knew, deep down somewhere, that it wasn't right when he hit the gas-mask after I did. My throbbing teeth encouraged my misguided rage: Yes-Yes-Yes-Be-Mad-At-Him! the teeth intoned.
The next day - my sinus felt like it was packed with cement and I discovered that bright orangey-yellow snot came out when I blew it, it was actually kinda cheery "Well, Hello, Sunshine!" Gross but satisfying. I felt productive.
Day four: the snot was then soupy and green and endless. I did the "netti pot", I steamed, I took decongestants. All to no avail. I wake up on day 6 to find myself deaf in my right ear. A few days later, I felt a knife stab my ear drum and (this is so sick but so awesome!) then yellow liquid began to slowly dribble from my ear! Eeee! I told you! It dripped for 2 days - ah, it was great! I love non-threatening infections! Mostly on other people. I wish I had a job where I just lanced boils and removed bot fly larvae all day! During my paramedical training, I had the delightful opportunity to not only witness a surgery (!) but also to do some wound cleaning!

Loved it!


This video is one of the best ever. It is also sick. You have been warned. Enjoy!


Some girls have all the luck!

Anyway, I eventually went to the doctors for medicine (I am really paranoid about taking antibiotics and so should you be!) and I had to go through 3 kinds to eventually knock the infection out. I was tired and grumpy and in no mood to write - but I was watching you! Creep that I am - I am sure you got the "heebeejeebie shivers" once or twice - that was me!


Let's be friends forever. And ever.

The Kiddo had a birthday! 5 years old! We got him a "drop proof" (we'll see) digital camera and some more train track parts AND a dinosaur cake! A good time was had by most. Speaking of which - I'd like to take you on a journey we had this past summer.

Buckle up, Buckaroos, it's time to blast off to planet BigTimeFunTime!

When not riding rockets, Janet* enjoys knitting and scrapbooking

Kiddo: I want to go to the zoo! And see polar bears and tigers and a lemur.
Me: Hmm, the zoo, you say? Let's look online.

We find a bunch of zoos but the one I wanted was the drive through one! No really cool animals like lions or tigers but they do have bears! I convinced the kid to go to this one and was thrilled I would be able to sit and be surly towards the animals the whole time. "Yes, primitive quadrapeds, beg for my carrots as this pleases me greatly!"

So we drive an hour and a half and right before we get there, the kid has to go pee. Right Now. We are in traffic. We pull over and I walk him into the woods - and then he turns around and faces traffic to pee! I tried to block the view while my son yelled over and over "I can pee on ALL these plants!" while other moms drove by and smiled knowingly at me.

We get to the zoo and pay an exorbitant fee and off we go! We bought some carrots at the welcome center and got ready to see us some wildlife.

They should have called the zoo "Wild Pig World" because that is pretty much what you saw: Goddamn stinky fat pigs everywhere.

I can't possibly describe the smell of this guy to you. Rotting vegetables and sulfur is as close as I can get to it but that still falls short.


But occasionally, you'd catch a sight of this:


Yes, run, Little Creature, run from your destiny of being repulsive!

Do you see that little guy up there? It's a baby wild pig! *hearts and love*


Here's a street gang of baby pigs!

you are all doomed


Here is Mortimer, the Loneliest Buffalo Ever. He is contemplating what he has done wrong to be kicked out of the herd.

Probably shouldn't a kept yelling "FIRE!" during the night.



3 Black Bears and rock covered in bird poop:


There is nothing funny about bears. Remember that.


This guy on the other hand was hilarious!


Can I have a piece of that carrot, man? Woah, far out, I've had the munchies for, like, ever!


On the way home, we saw a giant hot air balloon festival. Which was weird because you'd think something like this would be mentioned on the news. But it wasn't! This may be the only picture to prove it actually happened:


This pic proves I spent a wise $200 bucks on my camera! Look at all them black dots! This pic sucks and could very well be just a bunch of dead bugs on my windshield.

That's it for now! I am feeling much improved and I will be commenting and posting again in no time!

*Thanks to Frank for identifying Rocket Girl ;)