I Love Bollywood

Did I ever mention that before? Love it. I watch a new Bollywood movie on TV every week and I look forward to them like all get-out. One of the many fantastic things about Bollywood movies is that they are at least 3 hours long; you are seriously emotionally invested by the end. I tell ya, grab a bottle of wine and shut the drapes 'cause shit's about to get teary in here.


Will Ampreet ever know how much Neepa loved him? WILL HE!?

Another great thing is that, occasionally, they throw in an English phrase: "Blah, blah, blah, Brother Number Two, blah, blah, blah Happy Birthday!" Which makes me wonder if they have a phrase for "Happy Birthday"? Surely they must have a way of saying "Brother Number Two", right? Regardless, it only adds to the amusement.

The last two movies I have seen were, in a word, exceptional.

Movie One: This guy (who apparently is the "George Clooney and Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone" of Bollywood [whatever the hell that means] and in real life, strangely, was up on weapons charges) is in love with this beautiful woman who runs a radio program. He is a jerkface though and she is all "I take care of the elderly and live by the teachings of Ghandi so I don't like you" and he is all I want to have sex with you (BUT NOT REALLY, because all they ever do is *almost kiss* in Bollywood movies. Well, the high brow ones, anyway. Some of the trampy ones have kissing AND women showing their ankles. Thanks, but no thanks; if I wanted to watch smut, I'd be on the internet).

Anyway! So, he goes to the library to learn about Ghandi and Ghandi starts to haunt him and feed him lines to say to the girl, etc...old people are in peril and he must help them! A bad rich man is involved. I don't remember it all, a lot of crap happened - it was like 4 hours long. And it was worth every minute.


...He sees you when you're sleeping, he's knows when you're awake...

Movie Two: Basically a rip off of One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest - but as far as movies to rip off go, it's a great choice. The guy in the sanatorium loves this girl - but, she is a nun or has a lot to do with the church (it is hard to be exactly sure what is going on at all times as the dialog is rapid fire and then translated at the bottom. It also doesn't help that the story jumps around and people are dancing all over the place) but anyway, she loves him too and he somehow gets uncrazy but then she dies! :( We were all very sad. BUT the lady at the loony bin who is a nurse there loves him, too! :) Except he is crazy again :( and has electric shock treatment! He even pulls the "shuffle into the room like you are a zombie" thing that Jack Nicholson does. So, naturally, he is all delusional and he thinks new girl is old girl and that hurts new girl's feelings. Everything worked out in the end though, as they were running towards each other in a field and crying and then they left on a train (he apparently was uncrazy again).

Oh! Ha! The best part is the way they worked in the dance routines. Every time Ole Crazy took his meds - he would hallucinate and then all the people around him would change outfits and say crazy shit while dancing. I wish I had the words to express to you how awesome it was!


If you need to convince your husband/boyfriend to watch with you, just show him these clips. But I warn you: these two clips could very likely change your life. Take a minute to prepare and then press play.





HOLY CRAP!!! How awesome was that!? This guy is the best - from the sneakers he wears to the way he chews gum to the way he makes guys do cartwheels when he punches them! What an Authority Figure, eh? The way he wags his "No-No" finger at them - I hope to live long enough to be in that exact same situation and to handle it half as well as he did.

Plus, the movies are filled with gorgeous women like this:



What's not to love?