It is a pretty good cover story

In the car today, my kiddo pipes up with "I think Daddy has had the same bathing suit since he was a baby."
Me: "Why's that?"
Him: "Well, because - he was a baby and the bathing suit was small and then he got bigger and so...he had to cut his bathing suit... to make it bigger."
Me: "What?"
Him: "I saw Daddy cutting his bathing suit in the laundry room! It wasn't me! And then he also put it under my bed!"
Me: "Kiddo, you cut Daddy's suit. You need to tell me the truth."
Him: "Ok, mom...the truth is... the Baby cut Daddy's suit but I didn't want you to be mad at her. She doesn't know anything, she is just a baby mom, gosh."
Me: "Listen here, Bucky, you are getting in more trouble now because you are fibbing to me. You need to make it right and tell me."
Him: *Bursts into tears* "Mom, I did it but I didn't know! I was just going to make a little cut for Daddy but then the scissors kept cutting and now Daddy has two bathing suits."
Me: "You're going to have to tell Daddy and apologize."
Him: *Stops crying* "Yeah...but he won't be mad at me 'cause now he has two suits, right?"

Gotta admire the kid's ability to put a good spin on things.

About a month ago, I go to wake him up and I see little outlines of little hands all over his headboard...in permanent marker.

Me: "Ack! What is this?!"
Him: "Hmm, looks like little flashing hands that say 'Danger, Don't Walk'!"
Me: "Why did you do this?!"
Him: "How do you know it was me, Mom?"